Monday musings

orchid cc

There is a bluntcard which has a picture of two ladies chatting.  The one is smiling and saying that the second one is getting dangerously close to her level of success….. and that she may have to stop pretending to be happy for her.

It is meant to be a humorous message with sarcasm lurking beneath.  We’ve all met someone like that (although they may be polite enough not to say it out loud).

The thing about being an adult is that you think behavior like this will be a thing of the past.  That as you and those around you age, tact will be the norm.  People will think before they speak.  We’ll all be a little kinder and nicer to each other.  And yet I have people in my life who seem to make schadenfreude their full time job and wouldn’t know how to be happy for others if their lives depended on it.  Often these are the same people who are great in a crisis (or anything with a drama element that draws them in).  Have something nice or positive to share and it is blank stares and long silences.  A tumbleweed blows past.  Want a compliment?  Post it on FB and then they will gush all over it.  But don’t bother them with something nice that happened to you IRL – you save that for social media when you can get pretend likes and comments

I don’t know if I’m getting older and have less time for nonsense like this but if you cannot be happy for others or you have to make yourself the star of attraction in every single get together it isn’t a great trait.

I’m sure others can relate.  A Bluntcard is funny as a joke but not as a regular feature of a friendship.  If you cannot be genuinely supportive of friends and happy for the things going right in their lives then you cannot accurately refer to yourself as a friend.

xx

9 Comments on “Monday musings

  1. lol i know one person who’s like that and i keep her at triple/quadruple arm’s length. she’s already in the group so i can’t avoid her when we all get together but i don’t make any effort with her. if i’m organizing something with friends, she’s not included because i can’t handle her. toxic bitches be gone!

    Like

    • I know a few and as you say you cannot avoid all get togethers. I keep thinking that I need to relook at my circle but when you’ve know people for so long it seems like looking the other way is just easier. At least this lady knows where she stands with you – a lot of the time people say nothing and cannot-be-happy-for-others friends get away with it.

      Like

  2. I might not know what a bluntcard is, or that German term for basically being a poopclump, but I’m in agreement with you, Anthea. The problem is, those people really never become satisfied, no matter what “success” they have because it won’t stop others from having the success of their own.

    I’m glad you and I are always genuinely happy for each other having great food.

    Like

    • Oh gosh now I’m laughing at poopclump! Yes I know exactly what you mean – people that cannot be happy for others cannot be happy themselves and need to transfer that dissatisfaction on others. I’m going to say something next time because I’ve had it!

      Yes to being happy for each other having awesome food!! Couldn’t have put that better!

      Like

      • And the post would have to include how NOT to be a poopclump:
        Step 1: Arrange facial features into a smile (or something that isn’t a grimace) when someone has good news.
        Step 2: Act happy.
        Step 3: No really ACT HAPPY
        Step 4: Don’t make the entire situation about you and everyone you’ve ever met
        Step 5: say something positive

        etc etc (could be here all day)!

        Like

      • We could push the #poopclump hashtag to viral status, Anthea! Gah, you already have the outline for your post right there!

        How NOT to be a #poopclump in 5 EASY steps!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like if we can’t celebrate the highs and lows and everything in between; if we cannot be supportive and uplift eachother when it’s needed can you even call yourself a friend? And most definitely if you cannot be your true self with someone, than what the hell good does that bring to my life? And then of course there’s always people that just simply can’t be happy for you or support your successes because it’s all about them or me me me.

    I think it’s age, wisdom, maturity and the “we’re getting to me too old for this shit/non sense”. It’s not just you.

    xoxo

    Like

    • Absolutely Lindsay – everything you just said! It costs nothing to say something nice or supportive to a friend. Or if they are worried about something, pointing out all the things that could go right instead of wrong makes a huge difference. I can see when someone is concerned about an issue and all they need is a kind word. Instead they get someone relaying everything negative they’ve experienced so they end up feeling worse. There is so much out of our control, don’t push a friend’s anxiety up by being tactless.

      I’m amazed at the amount of people who cannot be happy for others and then wonder why I’m unavailable for catch ups. Mmmmm cannot imagine why!

      I’m really just getting too old for a lot of nonsense!

      Like

Leave a Reply to kathy @ more coffee, less talky Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: