Cocktail chat


Welcome to a cocktails rant chat.

Pull up a chair and find the drinks menu.  We are going to be a while.

I had the most fantastic birthday on Friday.  I turned 36 and we drove up to Wilderness to spend the weekend there.  It was amazing.  Hubby booked my favourite B&B to stay in.  Made reservations at my favourite restaurant (Pomodoro).  Had drinks and watched live music at Cocomo both evenings.  We explored the market in Sedgefield on Saturday.  I got super spoilt with gifts and the birthday messages sent from family, friends, colleagues and of course the sweetest blog pals – was all very much appreciated.

This birthday has been a bit of an eye opener.   I don’t expect a red carpet to be rolled out and to be serenaded with Happy Birthday (although I did get sung to by one Uncle).  But I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of so many lovely people in my life.

Unfortunately I was also quite amazed at the thoughtlessness of some people in my life.  The last I looked it doesn’t take a lot of time to send a birthday wish.  Seconds to type it up and ……whoosh….. there it goes to pop up as a WhatsApp/text/e-mail/FB message etc.

Not difficult.

So when I’ve known you for many, many years/decades (tick whichever applies) and you cannot be bothered to do this, please don’t expect it from me going forward.  Especially when I do it every year for your birthday.  Because no matter what I’m going through I always manage to wish a person for their birthday.

The start of the end for any friendship for me is when someone cannot be bothered to send a birthday message.  I’m weird like that.  I don’t care how long we’ve been friends, forget to wish me and I’ll very easily forget you.  It isn’t a great trait to have – I know it can sound rather petty.  But when I’ve a good friend for years and you cannot take the requisite 20 seconds to act like one on my birthday, don’t expect to see loads of me going forward.  I’ve gone above and beyond for some friends over the years.  Battling heavy traffic jams after work to get to a birthday dinner.  Parties/braais/get togethers I didn’t always particularly enjoy but made the effort to attend.  Hours spent on WhatsApp listening and hoping I’m saying the right thing at a stressful time. etc etc

So don’t bother me in future.  Thanks in advance.

I’m going to have a fabulous year ahead and the time saved not wishing lazy folk for their birthdays (plus not even trying to act bothered when I don’t make an effort to attend their birthday celebration) is going to be great.  I’m going to save so much time this year filling my diary with do-not-give-a-damn and cannot-be-bothered.

Both are highly time consuming activities and they are AWESOME.

Another round shall we?


14 thoughts on “Cocktail chat

  1. Lindsay says:

    Ouch, that stings and I imagine a lot more when it’s someone you’ve known for a long, long time. I’m glad you did have a fabulous birthday, girl, you absolutely deserve it, each and every single year.
    Love you xoxox


  2. Charlotte says:

    I hope you had the best birthday ever and it sounds like an absolutely wonderful day ❤️ Ooof, that’s tough. I get it though—we all have our trigger points. If one of your friends reaches out to apologize, I do hope you’ll accept his/her apology. I know I’m guilty of forgetting a birthday here and there and would hate for it to be the end of our friendship. Xoxo and hope you have a beautiful week ahead, momma!


    • says:

      Growing up we always wished family and friends super early (before we left for school and later work in the mornings) and most of my family still do the early morning wishing. I’d never begrudge someone for forgetting and sending a late birthday wish and I got a couple this year which was fine.
      But when someone calls themselves a close friend and expects me to celebrate with them each year but gives radio silence on my special day, then something needs to give.
      On the day or after isn’t the issue – life is busy and we can all forget from time to time – I do understand. But then a quick – “hope you had a great day” etc goes a long way, know what I mean?
      Hope you are having a lovely week so far 🙂


  3. Lauren Becker says:

    Like Charlotte said, sometimes it’s easy to forget, but I imagine you have an idea of who is already being a good friend and who is not before your birthday. Never a bad idea to focus less on the people who don’t give you the time of day. I’m glad that your birthday weekend was fantastic though!!!



    • says:

      I’m definitely going to focus less on friendships that are one sided and more on genuine friends who can take the time to wish one for their birthday. As you say we know who our good friends are and do have certain expectations. I think this is a good time to do it and not feeling guilt is an added bonus.


  4. Beth says:

    I’m glad you had a fun birthday weekend with your hubby and all the good things that came with that! But I’m sorry about those who couldn’t even take two seconds to reach out. I totally understand that. I’m cutting more and more people loose who don’t engage with me, if they’re not making the effort, why should I? I have far more important things to do.
    Anyway, I hope this is the best year ever and I hope those people realize what they lost in you, you seem like the good kind of friend to have!


    • says:

      Thanks Beth! The weekend was really amazing and I had a great birthday.
      I had such an amazing fuss made of me by so many people, I’m not going to let a couple of self-centered ‘friends’ spoil it.
      As you say we have better things to do than make the effort for those that don’t reciprocate. And now cutting them loose is going to be very easy because I can do it guilt-free.
      I personally think that a lot of people like the idea of having loads of friends but actually cannot be bothered with acting like one at times. Then when it is their birthday everyone is expected to drop what they are doing and make an effort. I say good luck to them with that going forward!


  5. Trish M says:

    Sounds like you had a great birthday weekend! I agree on the rant on people not taking 2 seconds out of their day to wish you a happy birthday. I got rid of those people a long time ago. In this day and age we are all connected. There is no excuse!


  6. Shann Eva (@Shanneva) says:

    I’m so sorry that everyone in your life didn’t take the time to wish you a happy birthday. I agree that it just takes a few seconds, but it can mean so much. I am happy to hear that you had a wonderful birthday with your loved ones.


  7. San says:

    I am strangely weird about the birthday etiquette myself… I’ve sent many, many birthday wishes over the years to people who comment back with “oh, San, you’re such a loyal soul”… only to be met with silence once my birthday comes around.
    Like you said, it’s not hard to type a quick message to let someone know you’ve thought of them.

    Having said that, I am glad you’re birthday was lovely all around and that many people DID think of you ❤


    • says:

      I am nodding along to the ‘Oh you’re such a loyal soul’ (I’ve had variations of ‘so thoughtful to remember’ ‘so sweet to send a birthday wish’ etc. Radio silence in return!
      And with FB it is really hard to miss anyone’s birthday. Anyway lesson learnt!

      I was really fortunate to get many wonderful birthday wishes from thoughtful people in my life and that is what matters ❤


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