Things I don’t justify #2


I started this series a while ago and keep meaning to do another post on things I don’t justify.  Here is my first one from earlier this year:

No. 2:  NOT doing group holidays

Hubby and I have done quite a few holidays with both of our families over the years.

I know that holidaying with relatives can be fun and we’ve enjoyed quite a few.  But I also know that there are times some of us do a lot more planning, preparation and running around on certain holidays.

Some of us need a getaway after a group getaway.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

Hubby and I work hard enough at the officeSo holidays that require additional work are not very relaxing.

My parents have always been very fair when it comes to getaways and I appreciate that.  In the past we’d book accommodation in the same holiday complex as them and it was pleasant with everyone having their own space but still enjoying meals and outings together.

Holidaying with my in-laws meant everyone in one house or apartment and not as much space and privacy.

I love our holidays.  Just us two.  We have our favourites we adore visiting but always enjoy trying new places.  And when we are away, that is us time.

If we want to spend hours in nature we can.

If we want to get up early or sleep late we can.

If I want to take out a book and read quietly I can.

We can eat whatever we choose at whatever time we decide.

And neither of us have to make 40 cups of tea a day and wonder when it is acceptable to open a bottle of wine.  Which was what the last group holiday 2 years ago consisted of.  My hubby is very patient.  I’m not always as polite when I can see someone is being deliberately lazy.

I will never know why for some people a holiday is the excuse to become a well read library book and simply check out from the moment they check in.

I’m more relaxed on an “us only” holiday.  I enjoy it from start to finish.  And I refuse to feel guilty for that.

We went up the West Coast the weekend before last for a fun stay in Langebaan.  Mentioned our spontaneous trip over a dinner recently and got “the look” with a side order of silence.

I just calmly continued eating because saying what I was thinking was as follows:

We had a fabulous stay thanks for not asking!

The braai we enjoyed in the evening was delicious thanks for sulking the moment something doesn’t involve you!

We could relax the entire time, not running after anyone who thinks groceries buy themselves, meals are cooked on their own, drinks pour themselves and snacks magically appear from nowhere.  Thank you to the wine which made the last group holiday bearable. 

I am not going to justify the quality time my husband and spend relaxing together.  So the silences, sulks and snarky comments are quite entertaining.

What about you?  What do you refuse to justify?  Please share 🙂


12 Comments on “Things I don’t justify #2

    • I was quite annoyed at the rudeness and it makes me glad we’ve made our decision to end group holidays. I suspect that others have picked up on this and that is why we get the sour expressions – we had fun without them and I’m not going to apologise for that!


  1. I kind of really love and admire this. You shouldn’t feel guilty about how you spend your time away from the office. Life is hectic enough as it is, and if you want to NOT make 40 cups of tea a day, you shouldn’t have to. I always think that’s kind of what hosting a holiday becomes here, which is why I’ve been reluctant to offer (though in fairness, this is our first year in a house and we are so NOT ready!). That said, I always offer to help out in the kitchen, because it amazes me how lazy people can be. Anyway, I love that you and your hubby were able to get away and too bad to the eye rollers and blank starers 🙂 Let ’em look, they’re just jelly they weren’t invited, ha!

    This year B and I decided not to do two dinners in one day for Thanksgiving because truthfully, it’s friggin exhausting and I have never felt better about saying no.


    • Thanks Charlotte – I’m fast realizing that in life some cannot be happy for others unless they are getting something out of the situation. I was exhausted after the last group holiday in Hermanus.
      To be honest I feel like we were taken advantage of – hubby paid for everything and it was just happily taken! With not so much as a chocolate or something given as a ‘thank you’. We haven’t invited them away for a while and everytime they hear we’ve been away (we didn’t dare mention Sun City) there is this cold atmosphere.

      I hear you on not doing two dinners in one day – and I’m glad that you felt you could say no. We once did 3 get togethers for Christmas and I said never again.


  2. Mmh, I would totally be up for group holidays with my side of the family ANYTIME (LOL. I know I am a little bit weird about that but I don’t get tired being around my side of the family!)… however, it would be much harder with J’s side of the family and I do enjoy spending time and going on trips just with J.



    • I think we are more comfortable with doing holidays with our own families. In-laws can be a bit tricky at times and I (awful as it sounds) I do find I work harder on those holidays.

      My parents always shared all costs and the work involved in holidays which makes time away a lot easier. Doing a big group holiday with extended family meant watching my parents run around a lot and I don’t think that was relaxing for them at times! I guess I watched this growing up and this has added to the fact I want holidays to be about hubby and I.


  3. We have done some group trips before and I agree, they are kind of a hassle and are difficult sometimes. I think it’s great you have put your foot down and said no and you are right, you don’t need to justify your time with your husband to anyone.


    • Thank you – words like hassle and difficult sums it up!
      Some family members are happy for us and wish us well on our getaways. And then some relatives just make it really difficult to even tell them about a weekend somewhere 2 hours away! I’m fast losing patience and don’t want to be rude but life isn’t all about taking, giving nothing and then expecting more!


  4. I’ve done a few group holidays and it’s just not my style. We both work really hard and that holiday time is quality time for us to spend together doing what we want to do and when we want to do it. There are times for compromise but my vacation is not one of them! We always politely decline if our friends ask us to go on a group getaway!


    • Nodding along to “there are times for compromise but my vacation is not one of them” Couldn’t agree more. I even get annoyed when people try to meet up for a lunch or drinks on a weekend away. I always try have an excuse ready. Our holidays and getaways are our time and I don’t need to feel bad about saying no!


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