April mantras and goals

As I type this the Easter weekend is over and it is back to work.  I’ve given my mantras a bit of thought for this month and they are:

Quote 1

Quote 2

My OLW for 2018 is release and I’ve done a rather crappy job of it so far.  I’m really, really annoyed that I let nasty comments in and set up residence rent-free in my head.  I’m cross with myself for letting someone get to me and bring out the worst in meAnd I’m like this because of some throw away comment this person (who ironically didn’t give two thoughts about it afterwards) said to me.  I couldn’t rise above the hurt and be the better person, I had to vent to those near and dear to me and all it has done is let this other person win.  She’ll always be the way she is and I need to accept this and distance myself (in a polite way).  It gets tricky because sometimes rude people like to hide behind the “didn’t mean it like that way” excuse and still expect to see you for dinners and other get togethers.  And then you are the difficult one because you’d rather swim with a shark than see them.  And it isn’t an old friend or a random person you can easily avoid.

Sometimes being a good person is difficult.  I’m dissapointed in someone who I gave more credit to over the years because I thought we mutually respected each other.  I looked at endless dinners and group holidays with rose tinted glasses – focused on the positives and swallowed down irritations.  But late last year this person was beyond rude and I couldn’t find an excuse to justify her behaviour.  I spent days telling myself “she didn’t mean it like that” and “she is going through stuff, try keep that in mind”  But you know what?  Loads of people go through things and don’t turn nasty or take it out on their relatives and in-laws.  They are able to remain polite and show gratitude when those around them do nice things for them.  Not insult them.  Make stupid comments to belittle them.  Then deny it before they think they can justify it.

Anyway, on to goals.  My March goals were:

  • Sort linen cupboard.  Seriously. Well I have 2 more shelves to organise so that is something.
  • Learn to say no more often.  Yes.  I put my foot down on something and am pleased.  What gets to me is when you say no and then get asked again.  Before now, I’d feel bad and then give in but I didn’t.  I just spelled it out clearer.  And the answer was still NO.
  • Continue water conserving efforts.  It is a mindset which is a part of daily life these days.  Even when I’m in a non-drought area I’m still saving water.
  • Blog at least 8 times and include our Sun City holiday and a post on the drought in Cape Town.  Blogged 9 times and included both posts.  https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/2018/03/14/our-sun-city-holiday/                               https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/2018/03/28/the-drought-in-cape-town/
  • Plan a spontaneous day trip or weekend away  Had a great time in Langebaan.  Decided just days before to go!
  • Go to gym more often  This is a big no.  Had flu which took a few weeks to get over.  I feel like this is a valid excuse not to go running as often as I’d like.
  • Read 3 books  Read 4!

Not bad!

April goals are as follows:

  • Finish last 2 shelves of linen cupboard
  • Sort bathroom cupboard out
  • Go to gym.
  • Read 3 books
  • Live out my OLW for the year. Stop making excuses and just release!
  • Decide on a blog name – new blog is getting there – just need to make a final decision on the name.
  • Go for a cycle.  I lost my cycling confidence a bit and need to get it back.
  • Drive more often. Definitely a trend here with wheels and I.

 

xx

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18 thoughts on “April mantras and goals

  1. Emily says:

    Great job on accomplishing your goals for March. I’m glad that you are feeling better. I still have to finish spring cleaning. I have to declutter a few more rooms. Good luck on your goals for this month. Have a great week.

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thanks Emily! It was a bad flu going around here.
      I find decluttering to be so satisfying but need to make the actual time to get it done.
      Hope you are having a good week so far.

      Like

  2. Beth says:

    I feel you SO MUCH on that toxic person in your life, I went through that a couple of years ago and finally let it go and I’ve been so much better for it. Our paths do cross every now and then but for the most part they are out of my life and I feel better. I have no real wisdom on what worked other than taking it moment by moment. And I still have moments sometimes of “maybe it really was me, not them” but for the most part I know it was them. Good luck, you are a better person than they are and you’ll be better off! Much hugs to you!

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thanks Beth – sounds like you did really well in this situation. I like how you say you took it moment by moment (something I need to do). Those times when we feel it is us not the other person is what toxic people want others to think. This is a person that I cannot not see ever again but I will not open myself up to anything in future. In the past I’d share a funny story, the average person laughs and moves on but she stores it up and then belittles me years later with it.

      The last insult was just the final straw and she knows she’s been caught out because the issue has been broached and she denied the whole thing, then rationalised it with the usual “didn’t mean it in that way. Would never mean it like that. Meant to say something different.”
      All I can say is we can choose our friends but family and in-laws are different!

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  3. San says:

    God, I am the worst at letting people go, but if they’re toxic, it REALLY is necessary! Makes me feel like a failure anytime, but I am trying to remind myself that the break-off of our friendship is ON THEM!

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      I’ve never been good at it myself and find it really difficult even when a person is really being awful.
      Unfortunately this isn’t a friend or someone that I can avoid easily – it is someone I’ve known for decades and I believed we had a shared respect for each other. I even did a post on her late last year (which I deleted because after the insult I was so upset). I have tried to be a good person and give the benefit of the doubt but when I give a gift to someone and 2 minutes later they insult me for no reason, then the problem is definitely with them.

      Like

  4. Lauren Becker says:

    I’m sorry to hear about that person in your life. It’s so easy to let negative comments in, so it’s something I need to work on too. Good for you for realizing they are in the wrong though – people can’t keep using the “I didn’t mean it like that” excuse.

    I’m glad to hear that you’re learning to say No more and stick to your guns! That’s awesome. I hope you have a wonderful April and read lots of fun books.

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thanks Lauren – the hurtful comments get in so easily and it makes me so cross because the person saying it often doesn’t give it another thought afterwards. The “I didn’t mean it like that” excuse didn’t work this time because she first denied it flat out and then insisted she didn’t mean it 2 seconds later. She even said how she meant to word it. How about not insulting me in the first place?

      I’m hoping for a wonderful April and some great books. The last couple haven’t been my favourite but I’m reading great reviews online of other books which I must give a try!

      Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thank you – yes saying no is going to take me some more practice! Basically I’d made an effort on something and someone who refused to plan ahead thought they could make their problem mine. Nope – didn’t happen.

      Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thank you Lecy – I love ticking things off on lists!
      The quote really stood out for me and is something I need to remind myself of more often.

      Like

  5. Stefani says:

    Release, is a good One Little Word choice. I think I need a bit more release in my daily life. I always think that I don’t let people get to me, but then I find myself griping about them to others. I really need to let that go.

    Stefani | Dreams of Nyssa

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      I know what you mean! I tell myself I’m fine with something but then vent afterwards to others! In situations where I know I’m not going to be able to let something go, I plan on saying something right away to the person. I just need to put this into practice.

      Like

  6. kathy @ more coffee less talky says:

    i used to be friends with a woman who is like that toxic person…she was ‘kind’ (ie. it was basically an act) and would then say back-handed comments or things to make you look bad but the way she said it was in a ‘joking manner’ so that no one would call her out on it. i ditched her long ago but another friend in our group totally called her out on it while we were all out at dinner and i sat there with the biggest grin on my face as my friend proceeded to out that woman for the b!tch she is LOL. it was very satisfying.

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      That must have been some dinner you were at! Toxic people always think they’ll get away with what they say because rarely do people stand up to them. I can just imagine you sitting there grinning 🙂
      What gets to me is that I’ll share a funny story with this person and she’ll store it away to laugh at (and not in a nice way) years later. And if I had to say something I’d be the one looking petty. She doesn’t think before speaking so everything is just blurted out. She knows everything about everyone but ‘accidentally’ mispronounces my sister’s name every time she sees me. We politely confirm the correct way and she does it the next time. Weird selective memory.
      Unfortunately not a friend so I cannot just ignore her forever. I can just keep my distance as much as possible.

      Like

  7. Shea Sayers says:

    I think you did great on your March goals! Saying no can be so hard, so that is big one I think! And a spontaneous trip sounds like a blast, I hope you had a good time. Good luck in April, I think you have some good ones on your list!

    Like

    • https://my30somethingadventures.wordpress.com/ says:

      Thank you! Saying no is really a skill I need to work on – I’m convinced it will get easier. We had a great time in Langebaan and decided to go just days beforehand. I love doing spontaneous things more as I get older 🙂

      Like

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