One of the loveliest qualities I appreciate in people is the ability to be genuinely happy for others. It doesn’t cost a cent to be pleased for someone’s good fortune. Something nice happens to or for them? Smile and say something positive. It really is not difficult.
So why do some find this characteristic so impossible to express? When someone works hard and sees the benefits or excels at something they love or has a great holiday – why do some people have to be so unnecessarily mean about it? Or they grimace like they are in pain because saying well done/great news/hope you enjoy is just too much effort.
I’ve seen it directed at myself and others and it doesn’t seem to be addressed much. We all know someone that does this but often, nothing is said!
We share more with family and friends so naturally we expect a certain level of enthusiasm and encouragement in return. For instance I don’t care if a random stranger doesn’t like my haircut but when someone I’ve known for a long time, can only make unnecessary comments I struggle not to take it personally.
I’m using a haircut as an example but sadly I have many other instances and it is the rule rather than the exception with some. So many of us have a relative/in-law/friend/colleague who does this so how do you deal with those incapable of being happy for others?
I’m tired and it makes me resistant to share fun stories at times. Where I’ve spent a weekend or what I’ve planned for my husband’s birthday. Why open up with people who just cannot be happy for you? Or those who make snarky comments instead of just keeping quiet since they clearly have nothing positive to say?
Another side to this is when someon suffers from Schadenfreude and seems to delight everytime something goes wrong for those around them. You’ve barely poured out your tale of woe when suddenly everyone around you knows it as someone has gleefully passed it on. For the record it is rude to sit and look delighted when someone tells you a sad story.
Sometimes after an encounter like this I think to myself that life is too short to surround myself with negativity.
After reminding myself that I have plenty of loving and positive people in my life, I decided to try limit contact (as much as possible) with those intent on raining on any parade they can pour down on. I hope to never get like that – life is too short for such negativity!
Where does you draw the line with those who want to steal your joy? Is it something everyone just pretends doesn’t bother them? Or do you get to a stage where you no longer care?